EnvyxWinry 30 Kisses
by Sofipitch
Summary: There was no ultimate effect on the outcome of their lives, Envy would still die and Winry would still marry Edward, but for just a second, the world took the two most lonely and gave them each other. Envy/Winry WIP
1. Theme 17: kHz

**Attention:** I am not a member of the livejournal community 30 kisses and I am aware of the fact that someone else has already claimed the couple. I just wanted to do the challenge myself. This is in no way related to livejournal. This is just something I had to do or else I would explode.

Theme : 17 kHz (kilohertz)

The music coming out of the radio could be heard clearly; little static was heard. Which wasn't normal for most radios. Static was normally very well found on the channels of most radios. Some channels consisted of solely that. He wondered if alchemy was the cause of that. It could create virtually anything, it had even created him, so why not a radio without static?

Classical music echoed through her workshop loud and clear. Every not making a long-standing impression. Not one statical interruption. Normally this was a good thing. Static annoyed him to great extent. But right now it was the last thing he had to depend on to block out the music because he _hated_ classical music.

But she loved it. And everyday she played it loud enough to echo across all the fields in Resinbool. Loud enough to burst his eardrum. This drove him nuts.

They argued over the topic of the type music she played and how loud she played it often. The first few days upon meeting him she didn't play it, but as she got more comfortable with having him around she started playing her music more and more. Sound slowly increasing daily, the more she played it.

One day he finally reached his breaking point. He moved his hand over to the dials to turn it down. And the moment his hand had finally slithered across her workbench and had grabbed hold of one of the dials, a wrench came down and landed on his fingers.

At first he was angry she had made a move to harm him. He opened his mouth to say something nasty, (No, he would never harm the girl, she had many scars from his previous encounters with her and he wouldn't dare give her more. He liked the girl too much to hurt her, which is very unusual since he doesn't care about other humans. But all he felt for the scars on her body was regret. Although he would never admit to that.) and then he closed his mouth as it twisted into a smirk.

So this was the pain the Fullmetal pipsqueak experienced on a daily basis. How amusing. And not only that, but his injuries were on the head and not on fingers. A more crucial injury. Hilarious. And even better, Fullmetal couldn't regenerate like he could so some of those injuries could be life threatening. It was to funny. Envy burst out laughing.

Winry didn't find the matter very funny, though. And once again that day, he experienced the wrath of her wrench. She let Envy feel closer to Edward, since he thought it was so funny, flinging her wrench right on the crown of his head. And since he didn't die she spent no expense trying to make her throw weak so it wouldn't hurt him.

This only made him laugh even harder.

-X-

Envy made his way up the dirt path that lead to the Rockbell home. He immediately knew she was home and her grandmother wasn't. She only played music loud enough to echo down the fields when it was safe for them to be together, without the watchful eye of her grandmother. It didn't seem she would ever approve of the relationship if she knew.

He stopped for a second to listen. Classical music would now forever remind him of her. And that somehow made him more joyous and more scared at the same time. Once she died she would be gone forever. He might even have to be the one to kill her. And under Father's orders he didn't think he would give it a second thought. It was his nature.

But she reminded him of the home he would never have. A human home where people welcomed you joyously and with open arms. Something humans had that he didn't.

And he slowly grew into a love for the classical music. It reminded him of her. A place where he was loved and could be safe from his sins.

He wondered if the Fullmetal pipsqueak felt the same way.

A/N: I didn't make him too much of a sap did I? I just wanted to get the feeling of his jealousy towards humans he admitted to at the end of the manga and Brotherhood. I hope he is still canon.

I will be updating this and my other stories soon.

**Review!**


	2. Theme 2: News

**Theme 2: News**

All she remembered of that day was their retreating backs going down the dirt path that would eventually lead them to the train station. She couldn't remember Granny, Edward, Alphonse, or Auntie Trisha's reaction. She couldn't even remember much of the war. Just that her mother and father and grandmother always gathered around to listen to the broadcast on the old radio that sat in the kitchen. And that her parents were the only ones in Resinbool who ever went out to war. The war that would eventually lead to the end of them.

Of course she learned about the war in school. But she never did pick up too much information from the class. She never listened. As the teacher talked, all she did was sit there silently repeating to herself that that had been the war that had killed her parents.

But she did learn one thing from the class. That the war that had taken her parents away from her, had been cause by an Amestrian military officer accidentally shooting an Ishvalan child. A tragic occurrence, but a trivial matter, not something you start a war with. This fact only brought her to more anguish over the loss of her parents. One bullet and the life of a little girl, thats all it took to kill thousands.

-X-

"The homuncules, Envy, was the one that killed the child in Ishval. He was the one who started the war," Edward had told her simply, but with tones of anger and hate layering his voice.

Now, she wondered if he would have said it differently if he had known of her involvement with the homuncules.

When she heard the news it tore her apart on the inside. Envy, the very person she had trusted with her life, body, and soul, had started the war that had killed her parents.

She asked Edward how he knew. If he had any proof. And when Edward told her Envy had told him with enthusiasm and pride in his actions, she felt sick.

She couldn't believe she had trusted that damn freak of nature. She didn't know what she was to do. What she was to say to him when they saw again. It was as if she was holding the gun in her hands once again and the options were to shoot him and take vengeance on her parent's death, or to let him go but not entirely forgiving.

But this time instead of this being someone she didn't know, she knew this person and _thought _that he wouldn't harm her. She had trusted someone who killed people and she still stayed with him. So now it was different between them because he had indirectly killed her parents? She never worried to much about Ed or Al either, they were scarifies, he couldn't kill them. He couldn't even injure them too drastically. So she never did worry about him harming anyone dear to her. But, everyone is dear to someone. And he killed people, but it wasn't till it was her the one losing people she loved that she felt it was wrong to be with him. But it had been wrong since the beginning. What childish ignorance. This was karma coming back to bite her.

-X-

She looked up into the bathroom mirror and saw a reflection staring back at her. She looked into the girl's eyes and found she could not meet the eyes of the young woman, no, girl staring back at her. She couldn't even look at her own disgusting face.

And she thought of him once again and instead of butterflies flying in her stomach, disgust curled around her insides, making it harder for her to breathe. her throat closed up and her chest hurt. She found it was getting harder and harder to breathe. She thought she was going to die.

But instead she found herself crying.


	3. Theme 15: Perfect Blue

**Theme: 15 Perfect Blue**

Little light came through the windows, as the world sunk into the short period of twilight. The light illuminated little of the room, leaving room for the dark shadows to crawl into the corners of the kitchen. She considered turning on the lights as an excuse to escape the rest of the story.

His eyes didn't look the same in this lighting. No longer were they a deep amethyst color, they had turned a shade of dark blue, nearly indigo. His pupils were dilated due to the lighting, making them bigger and rounder in shape. Different from the cat-eyed slits that they usually were. In this lighting he almost looked human.

He continued telling her the story of how he and the rest of the homunculus had been created. She had just asked him to fill the time, but now she was having second thoughts. He never spared her a single gruesome detail. At one point she had to ask him to stop because she felt sick. But the moment she seemed to recuperate, he continued.

Homunculus obviously had an amazing memory span and a photographic memory, because he remembered everything.

But, something that he told her intrigued her. "Father" had created the homunculus to contain the human emotions he didn't want stirring within him. So he created casing for each of his creatures and gave them a philosopher's stone containing the designated unwanted emotion. Then he pulled a soul from the inside of the gate to host inside the body. But when that emotion and the soul where put together inside the casing they intertwined and became one person. Warping the original soul with the sin.

This made her wonder if Envy had just been a normal person. If him being a sadistic murder had only been the cause of the envy within him. Of course she didn't think he had ever been a kind next-door-neighbor person. But maybe not a murder.

But even if he had been more or less normal, (Because face it it's _Envy_. The chances of him having been a kind, calm person, were as good as Ed deciding he likes milk.), there was nothing she could do about it now. It was no use crying over spilled milk.

"And to him, I owe my life." Envy said concluding his story.

"Is that why you work for him? Kill for him? Because he brought you to life, you will do anything for him." Winry asked as she sliced an apple into symmetrical shapes.

"Of course, he is my father. He gave me life and I owe him. By working for him and helping him a pay off my dept." Envy said with a smirk. "Isn't that what you humans do? When they get old you take care of them for a while, and then stick them in a retirement home."

"Most parents don't ask their children to kill for them. They just ask for them to take care of them at old age."

"Ahh, but you said _most_. There is still that percentage of you humans that do. You humans always try to make yourself sound better than everyone else, holier than everyone else, but you really aren't. You humans are just _so stupid_."

"And are you happy in the position you are in. Living like this. Working for him?" Winry asked, eyes never leaving the table.

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" Envy said. That amused humans-are-so-stupid look plastered on his face.

"That's pathetic, then." Winry said as she finished cutting her apple and moved to get another.

His face dropped the amused grin and twisted into an angry scowl. His eyes narrowed and returned to its cat-eyed slit form. But the blue coloring stayed. "And why is that?" He snarled. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in his chair, awaiting an answer.

She put down her knife and sat down in the chair directly across from him. She gazed into his eyes, those blue eyes, willing him to realize that he knew the answer. Somewhere in the cold barren depths of his heart, he knew.

He tapped his fingers against the table. He was still waiting for an answer.

"Kindness is the opposite of Envy," she started.

"And what does that have to do with anything?" Envy snarled, eyes narrowing farther. She could barely see any blue anymore. She wondered if he could see her.

She smoothed one of his green locks between two of her fingers. She leaned across the table and kissed it. She meant for the gesture to calm him but it seemed to have the opposite effect. He tensed visibly, but his eyes relaxed ever so slightly. "Kindness is the opposite of envy, and he gave you his envy."

If it is possible, she saw his eyes narrow and soften at the same time. He relaxed, then tension shot through him once again. His back arching itself in defiance.

Seeming unable to think of what to say he turned is head away from her. After a few seconds though, he did speak up. "I still don't see what you are getting at."

Winry sighed and went to turn on the lights. She stopped at the light switch and stared at the wall. "One day maybe you will come to terms with the fact that you do understand." She flicked on the light switch and turned back around to look at him.

She found that his eyes were once again blue. The violet had vanished. With a quick roll of the eyes, he moved forward and grabbed a bite out of one of the slices of apple she had cut.

A/N: 950 words. Damn so close to a thousand! I hope you liked this one. I think it was better than the first one. Yayy! :*D (tear)

Also have two more of these drabbles in-progress and more fics that need to be written. So those of you that actually enjoy my writing (:*D) might have something to look forward too. (Sorry updates have been kind of slow.)


	4. Theme 22: Cradle

**Theme 22: Cradle**

"Funny," she said as she cradled his hand in between hers, "I can hear a pulse but you don't have a heart."

He snaked his arms around her, her pillow getting knocked off the bed in the process, and he pulled her to him so that her ear was against his chest. Directly over where his heart would have been. His legs wrapped around hers, locking her against him. "I don't have a heart, but the philosopher's stone still needs a way to travel through my body. What you're calling a "pulse" is just the stone gushing through my veins."

"Then how does it travel through your veins? What pushes it?" Winry tilted her head back in an attempt to look at his face. An attempted that proved itself to be futile, so she just buried her face into his hard chest.

"My body doesn't need a pump; the stone just flows through me." He said with that humans-are-so-pathetic-and-stupid tone arrogantly placed in his voice. She could picture the smirk that always came with that tone on his face.

She inspected his arm, turning it over and analyzing it with a critical eye. "But wouldn't you love to know how it flows. There's no way that it just _does_ like you said. There has to be a reason."

"Not really. I don't strive for answers like you humans. It only leads to bad endings. Take the pipsqueak and the tin can as an example. Humans are always doing stupid things for answers. You humans are just so stupid, ya' know."

"Yes I know. So stupid that we're able to bring you homunculi into existence." Winry said, her voice crossing the line from monotone to sarcastic as she spoke.

"So smart that you bring wretched beings like me into existence."

"I thought you saw yourself on a higher level. But now that your existence brings proof of human intelligence, you're done stroking your ego?" Winry laughed.

"Most humans or all humans for this matter usually don't have very many pleasant things to say about my being here and alive. And I enjoy killing humans. It's really stupid of them to create something that they don't appreciate and turns around and kills them. That move wasn't very smart on their part."

Winry rolled her eyes. He was talking circles around himself again. But not only that, he was also referring to himself as just a part of Father. He wasn't acknowledging the fact that he also had the soul of a human that had been pulled out from the other side of the gate. But then again, he never did acknowledge this fact.

"Takes a while to get something right; the scientist just screwed up when they made Father." Even if he wasn't going to say that he had been a normal individual that had been twisted with a homunculus' envy, didn't mean she wasn't. "If perfection is what you want, you'll realize that it's very hard to find."

"Yes, but creating Father was just too big of a mistake." Envy said paying no attention to her last comment.

"You and every other homunculus," she grumbled. She was done arguing. There was no way she would be able to convince him. He was too stubborn. She would knock some intelligence into him tomorrow with her wrench; once she was more awake. "You're a hypocrite, you' know."

Envy smiled against her hair. "And how is that?"

She snuggled up against his hard body, which consist solely of bone and hard, compacted muscle, and soon fell asleep; leaving him no answer to his last question.

Envy felt her breath ticking his chest in a rhythmic pattern as indication that she had fallen asleep, and scowled. She always left him with unanswered questions. And if he tried to ask later, he would just be told to figure it out himself.

He ran his fingers through her hair studying it, wondering how it could be such a beautiful color. It was like a fountain of pale gold.

"I don't need to find perfection, I already have, and now it's mine." Envy pulled her tighter against his chest. Cradling her against him like a child and their favorite teddy bear.

He always made sure she was asleep before he said such things. In daylight all he ever told her were her faults. By moonlight she was treasured.

Hypocrite.

**A/N: **I have a question to ask Envy and Winry fans. Most fanfics that I find out there that are EnWin are in reference to the 2003 anime, not Brotherhood or the original manga. But most people seem to know and have read or watched the original manga's plotline. So why write in the 2003 anime's plotline? Were Envy and Winry cannon in that or something? I'm really confused because I write according to manga and most fanfics seem to go under the manga's original plotline. So why are Envy and Winry always put in the world of the first anime? Please answer.

Who thinks "the stone gushing through my veins" is a really odd sentence?

Thanks to blackcatneko999 for your reviews.


	5. Theme 11: Gardenia

**Theme 11: Gardenia**

It was the one thing she could never hold against Envy. And was probably-no was- the thing about him she cherished the most about him. Most probably because it was in stark contrast to what Edward did. He made time to visit often, he sent her flowers, and he was _there_ with her.

He made time to visit her, whenever he could. (But he did work for Father and was often sent on "missions" so most of the time he could only make it every one or two weeks.) He also encouraged her automail training, (Although he was quite the distraction. Trying to make automail with a lustful homunculus at her side proved itself to be quite the challenge. Seldom would she be able to finish everything she had planned on working on that night.), and never made her come to him. He always made the trip to Rush Valley, and on rare occasions, Risenbool.

And even if he only came for the night, (Nights that most of the time would involve foreplay. She didn't want to spend her time on automail that wasn't urgent-though if it was urgent she would continuously work-and waste time that she could use to be with him.), she was always glad he took it into consideration to visit. Edward never did come "just to see family" or "for a home cooked meal". He was always off somewhere in the far regions of the country, (Probably getting into fights with the very man she was comparing him to). And Alphonse was no exception to this. (But she was comparing the men she was in love with-Envy racing ahead of Edward-and she just wasn't in love with Alphonse.)

And Envy sent her flowers. Now these flowers didn't come in pretty arrangements wrapped with bows-this was Envy after all. The flowers Envy sent her were always delivered with their root sticking out of the bottom and a very brief-and very censored-note explaining why he didn't visit that week. He never really told her much of what he did. Although she knew the name Father and knew what he meant to Envy, she didn't actually know who he was or what the homunculus had done in the past and what he was planning for the future. (Envy was always careful when talking to Winry. Even though he did trust her, that didn't mean she wasn't still pipsqueak's mechanic. She never mentioned Envy to Edward but he still held his fear that something would accidentally leak the information.)

With the flowers he gave her she kept a garden. Pots containing the white flowers sat by her windowsill in her workshop in Rush Valley. She never did dare keep any of the flowers at home in Risenbool. Pinako would never approve of the relationship, much less allow it. (They made it a point that anytime the old woman left town to visit a customer or go out for a few days she would call him and see if he was available.)

Garfiel never once commented on her growing flower garden. Although Paniya did tease her about a secret lover, Winry just learned to ignore the little songs and kissy faces she made every time Winry went to get the mail. (Winry did one day introduce Envy to Garfiel and Paniya. But then she had had no choice but to introduce the three, since they had caught them making out on her work bench.)

When Envy saw the flowers for the first time he told her that she was a sap for keeping them. She told him that he was the one that gave her flowers with roots and that her sappiness made up for his lack of it. He just smirked and pulled her down for a kiss.

"I do send you flowers don't I?"

"When this started I never would have guessed that you would." And she pulled his lips down to hers once again.


	6. Theme 25: Fence

**Theme 25: Fence**

Winry woke up the next morning with the sunlight shining directly in her eyes. She groaned and covered them with her hand. But sunlight peaked through her hand and wove its way around till it found her eyes again. She groaned again and turned her back away from the window. She lie on her side and found the answer to the reason she had slept in. He was laying there, on his back, still asleep.

Memories of last night flashed through her mind. _Shit_, she thought. One of these days this would have to stop. She couldn't keep doing this with him. Ed and Al might stop by while he was here. Or even worse Ed and Al could just rudely walk in (as they often did) and catch them in the act. Or Garfeil could one day hear them and decide to come investigate. Or even worse, Paniya could.

Her hand slid down her face, drawing her eyes out. It stopped halfway down her face, covering her nose and mouth. She laid there in that position, just watching him sleep. She watched as his chest rose and fell rhythmically. His eyes were shut with just a little more intensity than usual, sleep defending itself against the light that was trying to call him to wake. His mouth, thin chapped lips, was opened ever so slightly. He looked so much more peaceful while asleep. All angry and curious furrows of the eyebrows and sarcastic and sadistic grins gone, leaving his beautiful face completely calm. He almost looked like a whole different person while asleep.

His breathing started to take a less rhythmic pattern and she knew he was waking up. She watched quietly as his eyes slowly fluttered open, sunlight soon making him turn over on his side in a sad attempt to avoid it.

"It's a rude awakening isn't it?" She said moving her hand to shade his eyes from the light.

"I've had worse. What's worse is finding yourself here in your bed." His trademark sadistic/sarcastic grin spread across his face. He pulled the covers over both their heads to shield them from the bright morning light. They were hiding under the covers like children "camping" in an indoor "tent". For the slightest second it brought back memories of her, Ed, and Al doing the same thing, with Trisha bringing cookies and juice to accompany their "campout". But just as fast as the memory had appeared in her mind, it was gone.

"Huh, you think I like waking up to find a homunculus in my bed? Then realizing you're also naked, implying that you just wasted another ounce of your virginity you had been saving till you were married, not the best way to kick start the day." Winry said rolling her eyes, hinting to Envy that she wasn't actually _that_ annoyed.

But Envy hadn't known Winry had been trying to wait till marriage. Oh well, no use crying over spilled milk now.

"You're the one who was begging for me like a kid in a toy store. I just felt like being generous last night." He traced his finger down her jaw. He moved in to kiss her but found himself being swatted away.

"Why do I even bother? This isn't going to last, so why do I always wake up with you in my bed?" Envy frowned at her comment. He liked the scenario of her begging for him better, not speculating how their relationship wasn't going to work out. This topic always opened some untouched wounds. But he figured it was better to talk it out calmly, rather than yelling it in the middle of a fight like they usually did.

"What did you picture yourself with someone who will grow old with you, plant the seed that will give you the power to bear children? Did you imagine the first person you ever sleeping with to be the person you live the rest of your life? Do you want that white-picket-fence future? I didn't know you strove for that perfection Winry."

"I don't want perfection. I just think that things like that would be nice. That we could be in a relationship without so may _Ifs__._ And I know the world doesn't rotate perfectly, but I never did picture myself with someone like you. You're Ed and Al's rival."

"Not while I'm with you I'm not," He curled her hair against his finger, before pulling it towards him and kissing it. As he did his expression turned hard, his eyebrows furrowing. "But our relationship… you don't have to worry. It… won't be for very long. I'd give it few months at the most."

"What's that mean? When I said what I said before, I was half joking. Don't leave because I said that. I said it would be _nice_ I didn't say it's what I want. I want-" She didn't finish her sentence. Instead she just crushed her lips to his.

She pulled away licking her lips. An understood "you" hung between them. His eyes drifted downwards, his expression still bittersweet. His lips pulled themselves into a halfhearted smirk. She recognized this expression, he barely ever used it, usually being hidden and disguised by smirks and wicked glares, but it was the expression of jealousy. Sad, inevitable jealousy. She caught the look every once in a while. He hid it well, but on rare occasion she saw it cross his face when Edward was mentioned. She feared what he was going to say next.

"You and I… we won't be together forever. A million forces, natural and unnatural, are against us knowing each other. We shouldn't have even met. And one day, we'll go our separate ways and we won't even look back. You'll go back home to Risenbool, marry the pipsqueak and have a few kids of your own. While I…I'll continue working for Father." It always pained him that inside he knew she and the pipsqueak were meant to be, but what pained him more was that if Father's plan worked, she might not even get to live that long. He wished there were some kind of way for her to be saved, but he knew Father wouldn't allow it. But he couldn't-no wouldn't-tell her what was in store for Amestris. He wouldn't scare her like that.

Winry looked down at the mattress. But instead of contradicting what he had said, she tried steering the conversation away from the subject. "Do you really think that you'll still be working for Father then?"

"Do you think you'll still be making automail for the pipsqueak then?" A sarcastic smile touched his lips. Winry felt herself exhale. The envious/sad look in his eye was starting to fade, being replaced by his usual mischievous glint. Envy had very quick mood swings; she learned how to use that to her advantage every time he started to talk realistically. Reality hurts, but she tried to sheild him from it whenever she could.

"Hopefully by then I won't have to." She replied. As she replied she unconsciously found herself staring at his lips.

He smirked. His line of vision slid down, trying to see what she was so interested in. He raised one eyebrow at her when he realized that it was his lips. "You really think that they're going to get their bodies back."

She blushed at the raise of the eyebrow he gave her. But it was too late now. It was a good thing that the only automail she needed to get done wasn't due for another week. "Of course I do. The goal is as real as…as…you and me!"

"Oh really?" He purred seductively. She blushed once again. She had meant "them" as in the being alive here. His mind was in the gutter, but that didn't really surprise her, him being Envy.

"Yes." She tried to sound confident and as if his comment didn't throw her off.

"Here, right now, not separate, like in the future." He said in between kisses he was placing on her hand. She felt like shriveling up. He was _finally_ doing something.

"No, together, right now, with-" She was cut off when he kissed her.

Their tale was a bit sad. It probably wasn't going to end happily. But for the time being they were happy.

"You know," he said as he removed his lips from her and placing them on her left ear, "Everything seems like old memories to me. But when I'm with you, I feel ageless. Like there was no beginning, no past. Just the girl in front of me, the one that I was supposed to take hostage but somehow managed to seduce me into falling for her instead."

"It's kind of bittersweet." She said as she kissed the palm of his hand and his fingertips.

"Well we have now to make up for it." He said before kissing her again.

She removed her lips from his. "You know, I think Father gave you his lust instead."

His lips curled into a smirk. "It's all the same. It wouldn't matter who he gave me. I'd still be me."

"Obviously."

And the kissed without any interruptions this time.

It _was_ bittersweet. But they were happy with it. Nothing could be perfect and they would never want it perfect. That would take all the fun away. They enjoyed being together. And they knew that in the long run, they wouldn't make it. But that didn't matter. They had each other.

Now.

And it would forever be in their hearts, no matter what happened.

**A/N: **Tell me if you noticed where the theme fence was used. I think it was pretty well hidden. This drabble is kind of sad, but I enjoyed writing it. I imagine Envy and Winry would tease each other a lot. I also think that Envy wouldn't like for people to be able to tell if something is bothering him. That's why if you noticed while reading this, he talks differently (sarcastically) than what he thinks (sadly).

I also think that they could carry on full conversations while having what is called "eye sex" and that they enjoy teasing each other about one another's lust. But I don't think with Envy and Winry that they won't be able to resist each other for too long.


	7. Theme 4: our distance and that person

**Theme 4: our distance and that person**

Winry stared at her reflection in the mirror. She wasn't wearing the girly pink and white dress with tons of lace and bows she had pictured when she was a child, but she liked her wedding dress. It was simple and easy to move in, which was all she needed since she and Ed were having an outdoor wedding and she didn't want anything too uncomfortable or hot, for that matter.

When she was shopping for her wedding dress and she saw all the enormous, over decorated wedding dresses, she found herself thinking the way a homunculus would. '_Why in the world would anyone want to be in that walking death trap? Who designs that crap?'_ Paninya ended up staring at her like she was crazy, while Winry laughed nonstop at the thought that she just thought something Envy would say. When Paninya asked her what was so funny, she just told her that it was how ridiculous the dresses looked. Paninya gave her a quizzical look, not thinking the dress were _that_ funny, but agreed with Winry.

She wondered what Envy would think of her getting married to Edward. He would probably be jealous, but wouldn't admit it. He would scoff and say that marriage is a stupid human tradition_. "Why get married if most couples these days only end up getting divorced?"_ she imagined he would say. Maybe, from somewhere inside the gate he could see her. He could watch General Mustang take her down her down the aisle. He could watch the wedding and see her and Ed together. Maybe, he wouldn't be too jealous; maybe he'd be happy for the two of them.

She asked herself these questions knowing that they would never be answered. Envy was dead, and he wouldn't be coming back. But she knew that just like her parents, Mr. Hughes, and everyone else she had lost during her lifetime, he lived on inside her heart. So she liked to believe that somehow, they were all watching, because a part of them was always with her.

Gracia Hughes, her maid of honor, came in and smiled. "You look beautiful Winry."

"Thank you Mrs. Hughes." Winry said as she lightly brushed her hair out of her eyes before pinning it to the side.

"We're going to have to hurry, Edward's waiting." Gracia smiled again and then picked up the crown of gardenias Winry had woven together herself. She placed it on Winry's head before pinning the veil in her hair as well. ""There all done. Now let's go."

"Of course," Winry said smiling. Gracia walked her out to where Mustang was waiting to lead her down the aisle. For a moment she missed the idea of having her own father or Mr. Hughes walk her, but she reminded herself that that they were with her. They were always with her.

Mustang raised his eyebrows at her. "Well, it looks as if Fullmetal finally did something right." Winry giggled and let Mustang take her by the arm.

She heard the piano start to play as Mustang lead her around the side of the house, revealing themselves to all the guests. This was it, all these years, it finally all came down to this. She smiled and lightly touched the wreath of flowers on the head. She wondered if wearing flowers an ex-boyfriend gave her wasn't appropriate for a wedding. But then again, maybe Envy had given her those flowers with the roots in them because he knew she would use them on her wedding day.

And maybe, just maybe, Envy was watching her walk down the aisle with a smile on his face.

A/N: For taking forever to update and then presenting such a short fic. Oh well, hope you enjoyed the fluff.


	8. Theme 29: the sound of waves

**Theme 29: the sound of waves**

The conversation had started with him describing some of the places he had been to on his travels. She had only left the country twice in her lifetime- once on a trip to the Aerugo with her parents and another with the Elric's on their trip to Creta- so she always loved to hear all the tales he had of his trips out of the country. He had done a lot in nearly two hundred years, traveling to most all the countries their world had to offer being one of them. So, because of her lack of knowledge and adventure, she would always make him describe the places he'd been to during the small afternoon break that Garfeil always forced her to take.

Winry, seemingly fascinated with the sea, one day had him describe what it was like in full detail. He thought of something vaguely poetic to tell her. He described the sound of the waves as being a rhythmic and a strangely calming roar, the smell being that of clean air, salt, sand, and seagull poop mixed with dead jellyfish. The water tasted like salt and was usually very cold and the ocean itself was the same color blue as her eyes.

She gave a wry smile, amusement dancing in her eyes. "My eyes are blue. The ocean's green, I was there on a trip with my parents and have seen it in pictures. My eyes aren't green."

"Not the Xingese sea. All water that can be seen to the east is the most beautiful color blue you could ever see." He extended his arm over their heads and moved it as if depicting the vast oceans from the eastern part of the world. The fashion in which he did it resembling very much the way an explorer would over a map or an astronomer over the stars of the night sky.

Winry giggled and a small blush crept upon her cheeks. "Well thank you."

He smirked in return. "Don't thank me, I'm just telling you how it is." The hand that had been in the air came down around Winry's shoulders and pulled her to him as he kissed her.

The kiss was small and chaste but sweet and simple- to some degree that's what they needed in their rowdy lives, something small and simple. Winry was the one to pull away first. "Maybe we could go and see these great oceans together one day. Then I can see if they're as wonderful as you say they are."

It would be a stupid promise to make since he knew that it would never be fulfilled. They relationship was supposed to be a secret and if both of them just disappeared on a vacation at the same time it would defiantly raise some eyebrows. Their busy schedules probably wouldn't permit them to a vacation either. It was delusional to think such dream would actually happen, but it would be pessimistic to say such thing out loud. And either way, he knew Winry knew such thing wouldn't happen too. "And you'll see that I'm right and you'll stop laughing and calling me a sap."

"I'm not laughing at you!"

"But you don't believe me, do you?" He grinned, his sharp canines showing.

"I believe the ocean you described will be beautiful, I just don't think my eyes would be able to compare to it. Especially with the descriptions you gave," she shrugged.

He shook his head and clicked his tongue. "You just don't have faith in anything you can't see." He smiled again. "You'd make a terrible nun."

She rolled her eyes. "I do have faith in things I can't see, it's just I don't when you're the one telling the tall tales. And," She crossed her arms over her chest, "I can't be a nun, I'm a mechanic."

He raised his eyebrow. Somehow it seemed that their conversation would always one-eighty back to her being a mechanic. Whether it was just them talking or her trying to shove him off her and get back to work. She turned to and looked at the clock. "And now, I'm a mechanic that needs to get back to work." And this would be an instance in which she would be trying to shove him off.

She moved to get up, but she was pushed down by a pair of strong arms and his lips being pressed against hers. "Stay. You've got a few more minutes," he said without moving his lips from hers.

She angled her head slightly to look at the clock. "You've got three minutes."

How he fell for such a machine geek he would never know. He sure wouldn't ever understand her love for all things mechanical. "I think we can make it ten."

A/N: I'm currently writing a fic for Kill_Your_OTP and my next 30 kisses (It's going to be long and make up for my pathetic drabbles), but since I am slowly running out of ideas, I'd appreciate it if I could be sent some prompts or some fic requests by my followers. If you do, try to send me as many as you can, the more the better the chance of me actually doing one of them. You don't just have to ask for EnWin, just for any fandom, character, or pairing that you know I write and that you would like to read. EnWin would be appreciated though.

Also, if you are going to request for a fic to be written, don't ask for any chapter fics or ideas that could run above the limit of 2,000 words. I'd like to stick to one-shots for this please. Thank you and I will have your next fic up (I'm hoping) sometime this week or the next.


	9. Theme 7: Superstar

**Theme 7: superstar**

When he first met he could have been more annoyed with the fact that he had to watch over little Fullmetal's girlfriend, and the fact that she had discovered him while spying on her was even worse. It was humiliating to know that he had been so sloppy as to let some little mechanic catch him. At first he had put himself to killing the girl, till he remembered that that had been what Wrath had specifically said not to do. "The girl could be useful later." Fuck that shit.

So instead of killing her he kept her prisoner in her own house—A very tiny and obviously cheap rental apartment that was located right next to her teacher's. He disguised himself as her and convinced her teacher that she was too sick to work and that she would be taking some time off of her studies to get better. She really hated him for doing that, her teacher coming and finding her having been her only hope of being freed. She lived right next door to her teacher and if he could simply come right up to the apartment if he thought something had happened to her and was wondering why she wasn't coming to work. And he wouldn't want _that_. There was too high of a risk of being discovered.

At first he kept the usual prisoner-guard relationship with her, but after a few days that became boring seeing as he really couldn't lay a hand on her and have some _real_ fun. Eventually he started talking to her; well it was more of him asking questions about her and her stupid human lifestyle. And eventually she finally started talking- it did take some coaxing from his part, but everyone cracks eventually. And either way, it wasn't like he was being cruel. Intimidating, yes, but cruel? It's not like he wasn't acknowledging her and letting her starve to death while locked up in the closet, as he would've preferred.

Eventually they built up a small trust system. She could roam around the house freely but that was it. She pretended to remain sick, but Envy did go and get all the tools necessary for working on her automail. He knew it would be the death of him if he didn't allow her that much. Maybe it was around then with all that talking that they were doing by this point, that it no longer felt like he were holding a hostage. He couldn't say that she was a friend, not yet she was still human, but he no longer felt as if he were watching over some insignificant worm.

-X-

"Can't you at least tell what it was that beat you up so badly?" Winry whined as she stared at Ed, currently laying in a hospital bed, his right arm in need of major repairs. She also thought that his leg could use some attention but decided to get on to him about that later. Right now what she really wanted was an answer from him.

Ed remained as stubborn as usual. "I already told you, we're not sure."

To Winry that didn't make any sense. How could you not be sure of the creature that beat you up? There was no reasoning to that. From what she knew it only could've been three things: human, animal, or chimera. Could they not distinguish one from the other? "What do you mean?"

Ed bared his teeth and gave out an irritated growl. "Just what I said, we're not sure. All we know is that those things weren't human."

"Uh?"

Ed rolled his eyes. "They looked human, but weren't human. Okay? That's all you need to know."

Winry's lower lip stuck out just the slightest, but she didn't say anything back. Why bother? It wasn't like he would tell her anyways. He would probably just yell at her, she would yell back, while flailing his arms to emphasize his point he would reopen his wound, because he would reopen his wound he would end up staying in the hospital longer. And in the end it would all end up being her fault according to Edward. So this time she chose to let it go. She'd pester Alphonse later and if he didn't have any answers she'd just let it go till they did. The train ride to Rush Valley would give her plenty of time with them to get some actual answers.

-X-

Winry thought the description Edward had given her back at the hospital now made perfect sense. He looks human, he looks very odd for a human, but human nonetheless, but isn't. She wondered if he was the one who put Ed in the hospital the first time. He did say that he and the Elrics had been acquainted and that's why he had been watching her, but he didn't give any other clues but that one. Another question that came to mind was who he was working for. If Ed and Al had sent him to keep tabs on her—a far off idea, but the only one she could think of—they would have told her.

She wondered as to what Envy's relationship with the brothers was, but when she asked Envy only gave her a wry smile that stretched far enough that she could see his canines, an evil glint in his eye, and a warped noise that held semblance to a chuckle that told her she wouldn't be getting an answer. But from the evil glint in his eye every time she mentioned either of the Elrics, she had to wonder if it was a good one. She'd never know though, Envy always held the same sarcastic, demonic grin towards everything.

But the question still lingered, leaving her more and more confused the more she thought about it. Who the hell was he and why had she been the one he had spied on?

-X-

She hadn't been snooping, honest. Ed had fallen asleep while working on investigating leads in who-knows-what they were studying now and Al had managed to carry him over to the bed without waking him up. So Winry had simply decided to clean up some of Ed's books and papers. But while shuffling his books and various notebooks into small stacks, one paper slid out from in between the bindings of one of his notebooks. It fluttered down to the ground and made its way under the desk before Winry had a chance to snatch it up.

She bent down to pick the paper up, but when she turned it over and saw the design drawn on the back, she froze. In green pencil was drawn a figure to replicate, very poorly but well enough to where she understood who it was, someone whom she had been seeing for the past few months now. The hair and clothes were what gave away who it was, but it was probably that trademark shit-eating grin that had her trembling.

There was no inscription to indicate to her why Ed had a drawing of her lover, but she doubted that it was for any good reason. Ed didn't keep photos for sentimental reasons, much less a drawing.

Her relationship with Envy at that point had steeped to an intimate level, and she hadn't been planning on telling Ed about the relationship in the first place. She had yet to find out what exactly Envy was, even though he had stressed that he wasn't human. It would've been awkward explaining to Ed that he wasn't human and she didn't know exactly what she was involved with. (And she certainly couldn't admit that the fact that she didn't know was exciting to her!)

Then she panicked. She rolled over the all possibilities that could lead to an encounter between Envy and Edward and realized how careless she had been over the past few months. She didn't know how much trouble said encounter would get her into, but she didn't want to take any chances.

She stuffed the drawing back into the notebook it had come from and walked back over to her hotel room after saying goodbye to Alphonse, mulling over all the precautions she would be taking to avoid any future problems.

-X-

It was early morning when he got there. Winry would've just gotten up and she was probably preparing herself breakfast. This proved to be true when walked upstairs to the kitchen, where he found Winry humming a tune as she searched the small icebox for ingredients that would provide a decent meal. Whether she had invented the tune or whether it was from the radio Envy did not know, for he didn't keep track of such things, but he decided he liked it. It matched his current mood: upbeat.

Envy saw the perfect opening to attack while Winry was distracted, bent over and unaware of her surroundings. Hell, she probably didn't even know that he was in the kitchen or her house in general. Envy placed a soft butterfly kiss to the back of her neck, right where her hair parted off towards her chest. "Morning beautiful."

Winry very literally jumped. "Eeep!" She spun around, what looked to be a cup of yogurt in her hand as her defense mechanism. But he figured that if Winry was wielding it, he should be afraid, concussions were to be expected when being close to her. He held her by the waist, having tried to restrain her from hitting him. Of course he got hit on the head anyways, but it wasn't as forceful as it would've been if he had been an unknown intruder.

"You sacred me." She moved away from his grasp. Her tone was less than pleased, annoyed at having been harassed so early in the morning.

He gave a wide smile. "Sorry." She knew that from the tone of his voice he wasn't. He was laughing at her. He was pleased with himself. Jerk.

She checked the date on the yogurt to see when it had gone bad before tossing it into the garbage. She looked at the empty pantry. She needed to go to the store to buy food. She had been working on McCulberson's leg nonstop for the past few days that she realized that she hadn't been stopping to eat. The fitting would be later in the evening, she would need to go get food now to make it in time and have food for all three meals. "I need to go to the store to get food," she said absently to Envy, whom she didn't really think would care. He couldn't be seen in public, and especially not with her.

"Can it wait?"

The no didn't even have time to make it out of her mouth before Envy's lips had smashed against hers. He held her forearms to keep her from escaping, while at the same time pressing her warm body closer to his. "I only have a few hours before I have to catch the next train. I came here just for you." His eyes bore into hers, awaiting her answer. He even though he didn't really care to have one. He just wanted to see her reaction.

Ed's crappy drawing of Envy came to Winry's mind and so did all the consequences of being with Envy. The fact that he was an enemy of the Elrics had only been an assumption, but Winry couldn't think of anything else to explain the drawing. And for some reason, even if he was a friend of theirs, she felt as if she would be betraying them, having a secret affair with someone she didn't even really know the identity of. Her arms suddenly felt much heavier as Envy held them in place.

When she didn't answer Envy tried another tactic to persuade her, his lips moving to her neck. "Please?" She could feel his mouth shape the word against her neck. She shivered in response. His arms moved to her waist, wrapping around her and hugging her closer to him. As he continued kissing his way down her neck. He asked again, "Please?"

He said it in a different tone this time, no longer asking for her permission, but more assured that she would be his. She closed her eyes and tried to rid herself of the thoughts of betrayal swarming her mind. "Envy I don't think we should do this."

He stopped and stood up straight hoping to meet her eyes. He only met closed eyelids. "And why would that be?" If she had opened her eyes she would have seen the smug grin spreading across his face. Before she could give a clear answer, he dipped his head back down and continued sucking on her neck.

She struggled to keep her train of thought and Envy felt that when she sucked in a deep breath when he trailed his tongue along her collar bone. "Because," her voice came out broken and distracted. She was trying very hard to hold on to her reason, but as he continued his ministrations the image blurred and began to fade into the back of her mind. His tongue swiped the crevasse of her collarbone and then kissed the soft flesh in behind the bone and her resolve broke.

She cupped his face and brought it up towards hers. "You torment me." She could feel his smile as she brought his lips to hers. "Does this mean I win?"

She drew away to make sure he saw the look she gave him, before bringing his back to her. "I'm not something for you to win."

"I'm going to take that as a yes."


	10. Theme 30: Kiss

**Theme 30: Kiss**

The fact that she had begun to show signs of taking a liking to him was what first sent warnings bells ringing in his head. But it had seemed that by the time he had noticed, he was already in too deep to really pay attention or care. As he wound himself deeper and deeper into their friendship, all the possible consequences of what could happen if Father found out often times began playing out in his mind when other trivial things usually were. But eventually, he decided that he just didn't give a fuck. She was the greatest peace he had ever known, and the first human to ever show sympathy towards him. And ever since he realized that, his priorities jumbled a bit-or a lot.

They didn't enter an actually romantic relationship till later though. Their friendship itself was built upon toothpicks, moving it up to a romantic level had taken, at least to him, forever. Not that he had been the one to make advances.

When he had first met her, he had seen her as nothing but a small pathetic human, a pet. She was fun to play with, especially since she was angered by him so easily. She hated it when he talked to her and even worse when he said her name. But she did succumb to talking to him, though when she did start he figured she was trying to gather any information that could help her escape him. But that obviously didn't work out. He still to this day wonders why she seemed to find him so interesting. His siblings had never shown much interest in him or his preferences and experiences.

They had met up one day at a clearing in Risenbool. It wasn't at her home, where Pinako would see them, but it wasn't too far away for her to travel either. Just far enough on the other side of town that they wouldn't be spotted by any of the Rockbell's friends or clients. They were together, watching as the sun slowly drifted down below the horizon and as the magnificence of the sky lit up in beautiful displays of colors completely unimaginable. They had been talking, then he told her that he might not see her in a while; Father seemed to be eager to assign him to a new lengthy task. He remembered her expression had dampened a little at the news of not being able to see him. Not only was he benefiting from having a good friend who really seemed to want his company, but so was she. She had been lonely ever since the Elric brothers had left; she had no really close friends to conceal herself to. She enjoyed his company, even if she couldn't see him as often as she wanted to. He was still there more often than some.

When he had told her about leaving, her expression turned to sadness and she turned her head, facing the sunflower farm a few kilometers away. Seeing her disappointment, he felt the need to reassure her that he wouldn't be gone to long, and as soon as he was done, he would come and stop by for a visit. And it was then at that moment, as their world was lit up in the color of romance and as it sat in perfect stillness and he was prattling to her about how the wait wouldn't be too long and as she stared at the Stubblefield's sunflowers, their relationship changed.

He had seen her turn her head and he had felt her move closer, but he had never been given enough time to register that she was about to kiss him till after it had happened. Her lips were soft and warm, and he felt slightly embarrassed at how chapped his were compared to hers. Envy, despite what some may assume, had not been kissed in what felt like eons. He tries to avoid having to kiss someone whenever undercover; kissing someone he didn't know felt empty to him and only reminded him further of how lonely he was. How he didn't have anyone out there who cared for him. So the feeling was new and exciting to him as much of a shock as it was. She didn't move her lips upon his, just rested them there, not even applying very much pressure to his. It had been so long since he had been kissed (times when he had been working undercover not included) he couldn't find the will to pull back since it felt so soft, so kind, and so real. It wasn't empty as other people's attempts to see if they could suck a little entertainment out of him. This kiss was real, and so true.

They remained frozen together, lips not moving, testing to see who would be the one to break the connection first, till he took her bottom lip in between his and sucked it slightly. She took the movement as permission to continue.

And continue they did, all the way into a world of kissing and loving that neither of them had imagined possible.

They spent months together, traveling and hiding and finding different places to make sure they weren't caught together. They spent months trying to appear as just friends to outsiders as they secretly danced together in a tangle of bed sheets and kissed at the bottom of lakes and other places where most people wouldn't suspect to find them. And they were content for months on end. Keeping their relationship was hard, but it was what made it all the more fun first place.

He knew she didn't know what he was or for whom he worked for, and he had great fun watching her try to guess, but the secret that he kept from her felt like the only thing in their way of the two of them being completely honest to each other. And he had hoped maybe one day he could tell her, for it pained him to feel as if, because she didn't know, didn't understand what he truly was, she hadn't fully accepted him. But he never had his chance to reveal himself, for she was called to the Briggs Fortress only months before the promised day and when they met up again, she was told by those other despicable humans what he truly was.

The expression on her face was one that never left his mind, as he traveled to the edge of Amestris and back with that little Xingese brat, and as he fought for his life during the promised day, it remained forever etched into his memory. There had been pity, remorse, betrayal, misunderstanding, and shock. But even as these emotions engulfed her, he was still able to see love peeking through the corners of her eyes, curling about her lips and making her body go slack in the shock of it all. But he still saw it, he still saw that despite the news.

But hate for him and herself had also been present, for the instigator of the war of Ishval and the murderer of Maes Hughes had been revealed. It with that, everything they had had seemed to crumble into nothing.

As tendons and veins were broken and snapped away from his philosopher's stone, his mind pounded on what Edward Elric had said. He was jealous. Yes, yes he was. He was jealous because in the end he couldn't have her. He wasn't human and he had two hundred years of murder and death on his hands. He was angry that there was no way she could ever be given enough in return if she were to accept him and all his faults in the end. She deserved someone who could love her unconditionally, someone who couldn't taint her. Someone who she didn't hate at the same time as love and she felt guilty at the idea of loving. He was jealous because, in the end, it was Edward Elric she deserved. And it was Edward Elric she would receive.

Back when he had first met her, the idea of someone having sympathy for him was completely ludicrous, when she had kissed him it had been hesitant but existent, and when she was revealed what he was, he realized that with a homunculus like him it would be easier if the person he had chosen to love wasn't one who had been directly affected by everything he instigated and now everything he regretted working for.

But it couldn't be helped, he hadn't chosen to love her. He hadn't chosen for everything that had happened to them to happen, but it did.

(And he never regretted one moment of it.)

A/N: Yay! Ten!


	11. Theme 27: Overflow

**Theme 27: Overflow**

Winry was falling harder for Envy than imagined. Not that she had ever, or could have ever, imagined falling in love with her captor—she had at first wanted him dead. But there was something so peculiar about his manner of dress and carrying himself. He spoke with an odd mix of elegant vocabulary and modern slang that could only make you wonder how in the world he had been brought up. And his apprehensive interest in her, it all attracted her to him, as well as the loneliness she saw in his eyes every time she looked.

They shared a common loneliness; that was what probably brought the two together the most. He wondered on her distance with the Elrics, yet how important the three were to each other; while she couldn't help but notice how often he frowned, yet managed to seem so arrogant and carefree.

He enjoyed her company and she did his, for other than her customers—not including the Elrics—and Paninya did she ever have anyone visit her. And slowly but surely, that special anticipation that came at the thought that he should be visiting soon, became a love for the smile he had on his face every time he teased her. She would feel her heart swell when he told her he had to leave after his visits.

She didn't want him to leave. And that's when she realized how much she cared.

Everything came pouring out when she kissed him. A complete overflow of emotions put into one kiss.

He's weird, dangerous, and she knows nothing about him. But she wants him to stay around for he was the first person to openly express a want to be around her.

Once they became lovers, every time he would have to return to whomever he was working for, he would kiss her goodbye. Even if it were early morning and she was asleep and had stayed up late the rest of the week, he would still wake her up to kiss her because he didn't want her to think he hadn't kissed her that time. A kiss while she was asleep didn't count if she couldn't remember it.

Winry didn't mind him waking her. She wouldn't have it any other way.

This time (this usually didn't happen, just from time to time) she was fully awake and attentive and one kiss had led to a few others, till they weren't aware of anything else. Well, they both did understand that Envy needed to be at the train station soon. But still, she didn't want to remove her fingers from the entanglement they had been caught in in his hair. By the way he would shift his hands from rubbing circles on her back to resting on her waist, she could tell he was trying to talk himself into closing the kiss. Yet, when his lips ceased to move against hers, preparing to break away, they lingered before he whispered, "Mine," against her lips.

He waited, unwavering.

There was a moment's hesitation on her part. She saw Edward's face flash in her mind, and she felt pity, but she decided that if he missed out, it was his own fault. He wasn't the one who had made the effort to be around her.

"Yours," Winry whispered.

She felt Envy smile against her lips and he gave her one last chaste kiss before departing. He held onto her hand, beaming at her, before he stepped out the door, and down the stairs.

"Have a safe journey," Winry said as she watched his figure, disappearing into the Rust Valley crowd from her balcony.


	12. Theme 21: violence

**Theme 21: violence**

Back then, when we first started, well I'm guessing "dating" would be the word although I never had the feeling that the term quite fit what we had, there was still a part of me that was afraid of him. He had a quick silver tongue and with the gruesome violent things he'd say, even after I'd first kissed him, I still felt uneasy being around him.

I never really ever left to Risenbool but once, that was because Granny was sick, but in the same month she also had to leave on a medical trip to the south, and she asked for me to watch the house and Den for her. Envy would come about every fortnight and would stay for a few days. (The time was longer when Pinako was away but the days felt shorter.) I was in Risenbool for almost exactly six weeks, and in that time Envy came four times. I don't quite know what it is Envy does—he refuses to tell me anything even though his job was the reason he had been following me when we first met—but he managed his time to where once he was traveling, he could stop to visit me.

But I'm getting side tracked with my story; the point is that Envy would visit me when I was in Risenbool. And one night, when Granny had been there but was asleep, late in the night, I took Envy to a small lake inside a little wooded area close to the market. It had been a hot summer and I had figured it would be refreshing to sit with our feet in the lake. It was harder to get a moment alone in the house with Pinako, for fear of her hearing us, (for Envy does talk at quite a loud volume) and Envy did always complain that there was nothing more to Risenbool than grass, sheep, and cows, so the lake would be something different for him to see. I liked the lake; it was quiet—except for the frogs—and secluded—for late at night all farmers were already in bed.

He seemed surprised to see the small patch of trees in the middle of surrounding farmland, and even more surprised to see the lake. "Do you come here a lot?" he asked, probably interested to know how I got to finding the place.

"Yes, ever since I was little I've been coming here," I smiled as the reminiscences from childhood came to mind. "Some years, during the winter, when the temperatures would drop the pond would freeze over and we'd skate on top with our sneakers."

"Not ice skates?" Envy said, his right eyebrow was raised slightly above the other.

"No, we couldn't afford those. The ice would ruin our shoes, but by that time of year we would need a new pair anyways. All us kids were always playing outside so shoes only lasted a year at the very minimum."

"_Mmm_" He made a rumbling noise in the back of his throat that portrayed his understanding.

We were walking right alongside the lake by then, him to my left and the water touching my bare feet every so often. I'd left my shoes at home; I hadn't seen the point in wearing them. We were only walking through grass and soil. The lake itself was shallow only up to certain point. You didn't have to wade too far out to find your step slipping and dropping a good few feet. At the moment we were walking around the edge of the lake where the drop was closer to the shore and any shallow area barely existed. I was walking on land which made my elevation lower than Envy's. I recall that at that moment Envy had been about a head taller than I was with this additional advantage.

Envy had been grinning before, but right before he reeled me right in to the lake my pushing me with his shoulder he had been smiling so wide that you could've begun counting his teeth. I back peddled as I tried to regain my balance as I slipped on the softer water ground, but as that didn't work, I quickly fell into the deeper end of the water.

When I regained my posture, circling my feet to stay afloat,, Envy was in for it. "Envy you asshole! What was that for!" I pushed water forward in an attempt to splash him that didn't make it to him.

He laughed, a long and loud belly laugh, his arms crossed over his stomach. "Wow, this little puddle is deeper than I thought!"

Just as I had begun to drag myself out of the water, ready to hit him for laughing at me, he dove into the water, father out and deeper than I'd been, and grabbed my ankle to drag me with him.

All of the sudden I didn't feel calm or relaxed—not that I really had been after he pushed me into the lake—but my mind panicked. He still was dangerous to me, and made me feel uneasy, and the first thought to surface in mind as he dragged me down under was that he was trying to drown me. Not tease me, drown me, my mind jumped to that far of a conclusion. I kicked my feet and flailed my arms, trying to swim away, but I missed him as I kicked and he managed to hold me to him. He was much stronger than me, I knew that, and I was instantly and completely terrified of him. The fear for my life was overpowering, but I failed to pull away as he pulled me against his chest. I didn't make any sound, I wanted to keep as much oxygen to myself as I could, but I stared at him terrified. He smiled back at me, teeth and all.

Then he kissed me.

It came as a shock to me, I had believed that he had been trying to kill me, yet he was kissing me. Holding me in a bone crushing hug with one arm and holding my head with his other hand in my hair. He had smiled as he kissed me, I had felt it. He kept the two us in place under the water and I felt myself relax as I no longer felt I had to struggle to keep from floating upwards. I felt my mind go blank as he kissed me, forgetting everything else, only thinking of how romantic this was, how perfect it would seem compared to that storybook romance. It felt surreal, simply floating, the only thing solid against being him. For that moment, I felt enchanted with him.

I wasn't under the water for very long, although it had felt like longer to me. All of the sudden, a piercing pain shot up from my chest to my mouth and nose and I knew immediately I needed to resurface. I pushed away from Envy's chest, and this time he let go. We hadn't been as far under the water as I had believed, it had just been dark outside, giving the illusion that we were deeper than we really were.

My breathing was labored when I resurfaced, an effect to having been under the water for so long. Envy resurfaced after me; and just as I had anticipated, he came smiling. I only shook my head, not trusting talking yet. I didn't quite know what to say to him.

"You didn't trust me," he said. He didn't seem hurt, nor did he seem to hold this fact to any high regard. He had seemed more amused if you were to ask me.

I didn't say anything. He didn't think anything of it, but I felt ashamed. And a part of me still felt afraid of him. He was brash, he didn't think before he did. He was dangerous, the day I first met him he told me he would've killed me if he hadn't specifically been told not to do so. As I stared at him, his violet eyes glowing in the moonlight and the moon and the beginnings of fireflies lighting up the water around him, I had a sense that it had not been a part of my destiny to meet him. I wasn't really one to believe in destiny, the idea that every little thing happens for a reason, some things, big things I'd say, but not the little things. But I felt that I hadn't really been supposed to meet him, we really weren't supposed to be together, and we really weren't supposed to be doing this. It had all been chance, and a part of me wanted to run away, from him, from everything, because I was afraid for what would happen to us.

But I didn't run away, I stayed and swam closer as he moved to wrap his arms around me. He kissed me lightly on the mouth before pulling away and smirking. I suddenly felt a sense of finality; I felt this was the universe's last warning. I could stay in his arms, or pull away. I didn't pull away. I moved to kiss him, and he pulled us back under.


	13. Theme 5: ano sa (hey you know)

**Theme 5: "ano sa" ("hey you know")**

The Elrics ever did keep her well informed in the first place. All she knew of the philosopher's stone was that finding it would possibly allow the brothers a chance to get their bodies back. But all of the sudden, one day they simply stopped searching for the stone. They didn't stop their mission, just the dependence the mission had on the stone. They never told her why after years of putting their life into its discovery, they would give up on it and move on.

_("You don't ever tell me anything."_

"_So?"_

"_I want to know if you're okay. I want to be there for you when you need help."_

_Ed only stared back at her. "We're fine," he said, not meeting her eyes but looking at the floor instead. She knew they weren't, but they pushed away any hand that came to help them since Hughes died. Even before that they left people out. Winry wasn't an exception.)_

So the connection between meeting someone who was powered by a philosopher's stone and Elrics not finishing their search for it was a troubling one. She had caught Envy spying on her, so she knew from that very instance he was bad news, but to what extent was not something she could comprehend. There were so many different possibilities as to who he was; it was all just so confusing. Was he just some "bad boy" from off the streets or did he really mean trouble.

_("Could you tell me who you work for?"_

"_No."_

"_Could you tell me what you do?"_

"_No."_

"_Why is it that you are set on me not knowing anything about you? It makes me feel as if you don't trust me."_

"_Winry, you know more about me than any of my family members combined. What I do has no relevancy to us.") _

The first time she met him he had threatened to hurt her, repeatedly. But when they had become friends, later lovers, he only ever expressed violence when it was directed towards other people. People don't threaten those that they love, and it was probably why, but before she had seen him go off with violent outbursts of verbal abuse, mentally destroying her or his other opponents. He scared her, and she knew since he was her lover, he shouldn't.

_(Winry grabbed hold of his shoulders, gripping them as fiercely as she could, pushing him away from her. _

_Her breathing was ragged and she was panting from loss of breath, but she managed to pull her tongue into forming a few words. "Would you ever hurt me?"_

"_No." And he pulled her back to him with his arms around her waist and brought her back into his kiss.) _

But she knew nothing good was to come of their relationship she felt she couldn't tell the Elrics about him. When Ed had made a comment about her having "no sex appeal", she wanted to fire back at him that she obviously had to for she had a lover that wanted her. But the response died on her tongue. She felt as if they might know him, and if she were to even describe him or say anything to give him away, they would either be angry or ashamed of their relationship. Winry couldn't describe the coil of despair that sat in her stomach when she thought that she would have to conceal the identity or even existence of her new-found lover.

_("Next time I make you cry, it'll be tears of happiness and me and Al will have our bodies back!"_

_Words and thoughts died as she thought that she might just love both Envy and Edward. She almost thought for a second she was going to die. She couldn't breathe.)_

Usually, for most people, (excluding those in novels and movies) people begin a relationship because they like each other in a way that surpasses friendship. That's the idea. You grow to love them. That's how it started with Winry and Envy. Envy liked her and made an effort to be with her. This made her happy. She began to think that she may find him attractive. He was male. He made her happy. That's all it took.

_(She initiated the first kiss, and he returned it. But after that he left for his work and their position was left undecided. When he returned, she decided that she would wait for him to conclude anything about them. She felt too shaky, too nervous, and too uncertain to be assertive._

_Winry didn't have to wait long for her answer. She had been working on the digits to an automail arm when he returned and came up and wrapped his arms around her waist. He buried his nose in her hair. _

"_I'm so tired."_

"_I'm glad you made it safely," was all she felt she could muster saying.)_

Envy never told her he loved her, but she didn't feel at all that it wasn't expressed. Words are just empty air, but the way he looked at her, that was real, that was solid. That could keep her alive. She never felt the need to say anything to him either. She was afraid words would ruin the magic of self-discovery in their relationship.

But she also didn't tell him that she loved him for another reason. Just as stated above, she felt their relationship to be a sin and she thought outwardly expressing that she loved him would be wrong. She could hug him, kiss him, sleep with him, but she could not say that she loved him out loud, for she wasn't supposed to in the first place.

_(They lay quiet and content on her bed. Envy was already asleep; his arm draped across her shoulders, holding her to him. He was possessive even in his sleep, and she enjoyed that he held her. He sunk into the bed a little farther than he should've for his appearance, but Winry was tired and dismissed it._

_This was one of those moments where she could've told him she loved him. It fit the moment, to say it, but she didn't think she could muster the courage to do so._

_It didn't matter anyways though. Envy was already asleep.)_

Their relationship was built on toothpicks, and to onlookers, they wouldn't understand why they tried. They gave each other nothing tangible. Yet you could see the happiness Envy gave Winry in the way she smiled brighter than usual when he was around. Maybe that's why fate left them undisturbed, letting Winry keep believing Envy's lies and half-truths. There was no ultimate effect on the outcome of their lives, Envy would still die and Winry would still marry Edward, but for just a second, the world took the two most lonely and gave them each other.

_("Winry?"_

_Winry put her tools down and looked up. "Envy? You're back?"_

"_I had a little free time coming back from a mission." He materialized into view. He stood leaning against the doorframe of her workshop. He smiled._

"_I missed you."_

"_I did too."_

_He was holding her now. "I love you."_

_Then Winry woke up to emptiness in her bed.)_


	14. Theme 23: Candy

**Theme 23: Candy**

_Lovers don't finally meet somewhere._

_They're in each other all along._

_-Rumi _

It was very easily a simple moment when he realized it. He didn't really accept reality till much later, he put everything he didn't want to know or believe in the back of his mind. But if anyone where to ever ask when he realized it, he would tell you that it had been then he had contemplated.

Pinako, Winry's grandmother, wasn't home and wasn't planning on returning till the next evening. In other words, Envy was present and very openly able to simply sit on the porch in the front yard. It was nice not having to be so secretive, at least for a few hours. Winry was throwing old baseballs for Den. Envy was watching.

That dog had finally grown out of barking at Envy believing he was an intruder—which really was amazing considering all the windows he'd been climbing through. Which was wonderful. Not only for his ears but, if not for Den's quiet Pinako would've definitely caught him the other night. Shape-shifting ability or not.

Winry made a false throw. She made the motion, yet kept the ball secure in her hand. Den swung around and even began to run forwards, but realizing that there was no ball in sight and that she had been tricked, she turned back to Winry, waiting for her to throw the ball. Winry laughed at the dog and actually threw the ball this time. Envy watched her laugh, mesmerized.

He loved the way she laughed. It was so open and childlike. And although it would be a lie to say so since he had seen the darkness beneath her eyes, but sometimes she appeared completely carefree. In that way that would make a person question how they faced their problems. When he saw her that way he realized that this—not exactly, but close to—freedom was what Greed must have run away for. There wasn't the constant threat of Father's wrath and Pride's shadows. Only clear blue skies could be found. Envy couldn't fathom leaving the way Greed did. He could barely believe that he could already be so far from the one who made him. Defying him above all.

_What_ caused him to act _this _way?

Winry stopped throwing the ball. But to Envy the lack of movement was distant and unaccounted for as Envy was still thinking and not paying attention to reality. "Hey Envy," Winry said trying to get his attention.

He didn't notice. "I don't even know her…"

Winry tilted her head to the side, wondering what in the world he was mumbling. Her right eyebrow lifted and a smile spread across her face. "Envy," she said louder this time.

He looked up at her. She was standing right in front of him.

"Would you like to get some ice cream?" He blinked. She didn't ask what he had been saying. Good.

"You have ice cream in the ice box?"

"No, you can get some at the general store," she smiled, "down at the market."

"Oh?" He shrugged and got up. "Sure."

Winry took his hand and lead him along, telling him of how when she was younger she would go mooch ice cream and candy off the store owner. Envy didn't pay attention. He couldn't stop questioning why he was here, very well risking his life, to be with this girl. Why? Why? _Why?_ Envy had never disobeyed Father before, so why would he dare do so now? He stare at her back, her slight shoulders, her tanned arms and neck, her long silky hair the color of vanilla ice cream. He didn't know this girl. At least not as well as others did. Yet he felt himself drawn to her more and more each moment he spent with her. Like a moth to a lit lamp…

He didn't love her or any of that rot though. Definitely not. Because he's a homunculus, he can only pretend to have such feelings. He was sure of that. He looked up at her again. He didn't know what love was.

**A/N:** Well, Envy you might know her better if you listened to her while she talked. And you know she likes automail, so you're pretty much set.

I just realized it's been more than a year since I started writing these. For those who've stuck with me since the beginning and even those now, I'm sorry for the crappy updates. Since I'm on break I'll be better about it now. Hopefully.


	15. Theme 1: Look Over Here

**Theme 1: Look Over Here**

She was intelligent, I'd give her that much. It was hard to get her to talk at first, but once she began, she fell short of my expectations. I had expected she'd be as ignorant as the rest of her species. When she went on prattling—she did have that habit most human females do: not shutting up—but when she spoke of her automail, and even trivial things, she spoke with the intelligence of a man two score her age. I took delight and even looked forward to our conversations; it was refreshing to find a human being that didn't solely divide herself between the principles of good and evil. I kept my "associations" with the Elric brothers a secret from her for that very reason. She kept and open mind, she did work with many military men, but when venturing deeper into her mind I knew she was protective of those brats and that she would be horrified if she found out what I had done. She wouldn't accept me if I didn't conceal myself. It's ironic isn't it? I have to hide my largest, most dominating feature to be accepted more than I ever have in my entire dragging existence. I really am horrible aren't I?

But it's hard to feel repulsion towards such hobbies when they give you such gratification in return.

Our interest in one another is odd. I am a monster and she is a country girl with an abnormal obsession with mechanics. And to top it all off, for some bizarre reason, she seems interested in my opinions and point of view on things. None of my siblings had ever regarded me as an interesting person. Most of the time they would brush me off as easily as if they were listening to a five year old arguing politics. But in her eyes I am interesting. I can't say that I don't appreciate or deserve this sudden appreciation for an intelligent mind, but I could do without the constant bombardment of questions. Humans never stop, and it's their curiosity that leaves them missing organs. Hard to pity them when they do it to themselves, and she didn't make this exception.

I had believed from the very first day of our acquaintance that the two of us had nothing in common, and I continued believing that misconception for quite some time. I just didn't want to have anything in common with a human, no matter how intelligent.

Just because I was curious, one day I began to also ask her questions. I had to make sure she didn't know too much about the military, and, such things. It was stupid why I asked her that question that evening. She had asked me something embarrassing because she wanted to make me squirm. So I retaliated. No one can make a fool out of me.

"So if you want to be that way: who was your first kiss?" I figured the story would've been one of her having to lean down.

Winry had been laughing—at me, the bitch—before, but now she suddenly fell silent. Her hands dropped from the table top to her lap and she relaxed her back against the frame of the chair. She chose not to look at me but at the stove to her right. She let out a long exhausted sigh, as if the topic was not foreign to her and one that left her in some sort of foolish misery. She mumbled when she finally spoke. "I've never been kissed by a boy."

Honestly, this hadn't been the answer I had been anticipating.

But how did I not figure? Human men would rather go for creatures such as Lust and be left by the side of the road as a result. Isn't that why Father made Lust look the way she does? It wasn't that Winry—when I speak I speak against human kind and not in much support of Winry—wasn't attractive. She just didn't have Lust's rack or ass. But still, much less attractive woman than Winry have been in a happy relationship. And I found it peculiar how most of the people Winry worked with or associated with were males, some even close to her age. Fullmetal was even painfully obvious about his attraction towards Winry! (I would not be talking to her if not for that!) Was the midget a wimp? Or did she push him away?

"Really?" was all I could think to say at the moment. But despite my intention to blame mankind for such mistake, I could already hear the poison creeping into my voice. I didn't even have to defend myself and I felt angry with my own position.

She finally looked at me. She was trying to look nonchalant, I could tell for my years of acting had schooled me well. Her forced smile looked wretched. "I don't think that guys would want an automail freak as their…" She droned off before shrugging. "Well, I guess it doesn't really matter."

I knew, and that's all I'll say, I _knew_. To not be desirable to anyone, I know that. I won't tell how I know, where I had seen such unhappiness expressed from. But showing pity to a human was something that I would never do, so despite the kindness that she would offer me, I chose not to pay myself forward and said something insensitive instead.

"Well? Well, it's not like you could've anticipated that you were undesirable. You talk about machines till people are practically asleep with boredom. And you rarely are around other people because you are so absorbed in your work. You're bossy. And there's much prettier, daintier, and more feminine woman that men want out there. I don't even see how you could believe that man would ever want to kiss you. Talk about delusional."

Animals look their opponents in the eyes during a face off. The first to look away is the lower life form. When speaking, my eyes seldom leave the person whom I am addressing. I make sure that if they were ever to look into my eyes, they would see that I mean every word I utter. And it shows my power over them. Lust said she can tell when I lie, because I don't look at the person, I'm too busy inventing.

I did the same when I spoke to her. She looked at me, but I waved my hand and kept my eyelids downcast and turned my head around as if I could care less. I tried my best to look indifferent. And she bought it.

For a long time, she didn't look at me. Her head hung low, showing the effect of my words on her. And then, as quiet as a mouse, she got up and left the dual purpose room. She didn't look back, just left towards her bedroom to retire for the night. I didn't leave till I saw the light under the door disappear.

I would sometimes rest on the couch in her "workroom" (it's the same room as her kitchen, the room is just too large for a kitchen and Winry didn't care for a parlor), or downstairs in one of the patient beds if no one was down there. But when I couldn't find it in me to sleep, I would meander in the desert cliffs, jumping ever once in a while if I thought that the shadow looked like Pride's for a second. The sky opened with all of its starry brilliance at night and it gave me inspiration to contemplate.

I chose to meander that night.

I usually didn't pity humans, I don't know how to react or what to say if I do. I am cruel instead, to prove to the invisible invented audience of my family that I am not envious as my name claimed, that I am solely proud to be a homunculus and look down at those lower than me. They wouldn't even know, but I would feel as if I were letting Father down if I wasn't cruel. I don't know how much of that she might have understood, she probably didn't, but she didn't mention what I had said the next day. She simply carried on as usual.

Some part of me wanted to believe that the reason she was so good at handling insults was her trade. Or maybe she did understand my bluff, and in turn ridiculed me in her mind because of it. The possibilities were endless. And we never spoke of it.

But what troubled me most was that when she kissed me finally, she didn't claim that that was her first kiss.

There could be a spectrum of reasons for that too, though.

**A/N:** There was a lot more I wanted to say in this as to Envy's feelings. But seeing as Envy is narrating, he would never admit to most of what he was feeling. I probably even had him saying too much. This was much deeper in the first draft. Third-person is much easier to write Envy with. Pain in the ass homunculus.


	16. Theme 19: Red (Part One)

**Theme 19: Red**

**Warning:** AU

It wasn't me they had chosen to contact. It was Granny. I had been coming home after a long day at the hospital where I worked an internship. I had been working since five a.m. with only a thirty minute "lunch" (because of my wonderful schedule lunch was served at seven a.m.) and breathing break in between. Working in the ER stressed me out to no avail, for not only was there a constant supply of people with horrific injuries coming in, but working in such heart-in-throat conditions, _no one_ was nice to anyone. It took me a while to realize that was just the way people talked there: yelling.

I always came home incredibly stressed, which was why when Granny addressed me, she began with, "I'm sorry to bother, but I have to tell you—"

I grabbed an orange out of the fruit bowl as I walked into the kitchen. It is stress relieving to tear something up and then eat it. "Shoot," I said as I dug my fingernails into the fruit's skin.

"Ed and Al called."

I stopped jabbing my fingers into the orange. I just stood there for a second, allowing the news to fully absorb. I felt myself go slack and left my arm drop. I stared at my grandmother's feet. "Jackasses," was the best thing I had to offer.

Granny went on before I could lie and tell her I didn't care. "They're taking this summer off and want to visit. They asked if they could stay here."

I inserted my fingers back into the small tear I'd made and yanked half of the orange skin in frustration. "What'd you say?"

"I said I'd have to see what's going on." She was being very calm about the subject. She knew I was still sensitive. How could she not? She had been the one I had cried to after The Biggest Mistake of My Life. She knew how I felt about them almost better than anyone else.

I narrowed my eyes and turned to look at the stove instead of her. "Who was the one who called?" I knew the answer to this question, but I had to hear it, because if I was wrong… But I wasn't, I knew I wasn't wrong. People never change.

She let out a very long exhausted sigh. "Alphonse."

I'm always right.

"If they come here, I'm moving in with Paninya again." I ripped off another large chunk of orange peel.

"Honey, Paninya moved to Atlanta a long time ago. You'd drive all the way down there to run from them?"

This wasn't about logical thinking. This was about anger. "Yes."

"What about your internship? You'd just leave that behind?"

"Ugh." I really didn't want to be around if Granny was just going to let those two sleep in the same house I lived in. I tore off one last piece to the orange peel with careful precision. I just wanted to get away. I thought that the nightmare had ended when they had chosen to leave. They never called or sent an e-mail with a simple, "It's been a while! How are you doing?" I tore the orange in half and began to peel off pieces and eat them.

"I'll move in with Envy then."

My grandmother's eyes drew sharp. "You will not stay with William, do you hear me. He lives in a part of town I'd rather you not be in." Hands moved to hips.

I rolled my eyes and spoke with fruit in my mouth. "I'm too old to be bossed around anymore."

"Yet you chose to live in this house," was her retort.

I rolled my eyes.

Seeing there were dishes pilling up in the sink, Granny moved to begin loading them in the dishwasher. "Well, I don't know what I'm going to do yet, but be aware that I myself would like to see these boys again. It's the first time they've reached out in what? Three years?" To that I rolled my eyes. Again. I was in too "pissy" of a mood for this. I knew too well. I hadn't believed there would be contact after the first year had gone by without a single word from them. During the second year, Granny began to have nightmares that the reason there hadn't been contact was because they had winded up dead and defaced in some alley or something unnoticed as that. "Try to think about it. I know you don't want to forgive them, but I think they're finally reaching out for forgiveness."

I finished my orange. "I know what I'm going to do if they come, and it won't be staying here." I threw away my orange peel into the compost bag. "Forgiveness isn't on my list unless they get down on their knees and beg."

My grandmother didn't say anything, she just sighed. "Well I love you Winry, and I think you should think it over."

I stooped down and kissed her on the cheek in return. She smelt like oil and sawdust, just as she always did ever since I was a little girl. I had slowly learned over time to find those smells calming. "I love you too. I'm going out."

I readjusted my hair tie as I walked out the door. "Think about it!" she hollered behind me just before I shut the door.

I needed to leave. I was angry with the Elrics and my grandmother wasn't going to be a good listener if I were to express my rage to her. There was only one person I knew for that job, and I needed to ask him about crashing at his place for the summer regardless.

-X-

It was Edward Elric I was mostly in fear and shock of seeing. He was the one who had caused The Biggest Mistake of My Life. But that doesn't mean that Alphonse is off the hook. No. In the three years that they had been away studying at MIT, he had never made an effort to contact me either. He might be kinder, less short-tempered, and friendlier, but he was just as bad as Ed. I hate that.

Ed was the brother I feel in love with. Alphonse is kinder and to some degree could be argued to be slightly better looking than Edward, but wasn't… Well, he just wasn't for me. He carried on many girlfriends all through middle and high school. Al never showed interest in me. And I could easily suppose that I too never really had an interest in him as anything else than being a friend. He was more like a little brother to me.

Ed, well, lots of people said things about the two of us getting together. It was weird, because even if Al was single, it wasn't him they picked on, it was Ed. I of course always felt ridiculously embarrassed when they did so, for the crush had formed in seventh grade and carried on ever since. Before then it was just admiration.

And they didn't pick on us because of me. I think I did a pretty good job of hiding my infatuation most of the time. Granny was surprised when I told her of The Biggest Mistake of My Life. She, who was the one who probably knew me best, hadn't noticed my taking to him.

Alphonse hadn't been there when the Biggest Mistake happened. It was at the airport. Ed and Al where going to be boarding a plane headed for their future at MIT. Al had left to go get something to eat. Granny had stayed at home and said goodbye earlier. Somehow alone with Ed in the airport was just suddenly the best moment to confess to him. Honestly it seemed as if it would be then or never. In middle school I would have died before telling him and in high school I had loved where I was at. I didn't need to change anything. There was also, if we got together if I confessed, the possibility of either a break-up later on, or rejection.

I should have trusted my senses on the latter case.

I don't know how I misconceived myself into thinking that because of the circumstances, that maybe he liked me back. Maybe he had also fallen painfully in love in seventh grade and remained that way ever since. I must've been nuts. It might've also been that he was now taller than me. Way taller. The thought of leaning up to kiss him was now not only possible, but very desirable. So I just went ahead and did what my gut and heart kept telling me I wanted to do.

But he didn't return my kiss, and the humiliation on his face… He turned his head away and began to speak, "Winry," he said. I didn't have to be told twice. Alphonse came back just as I stood up from my seat. I could barely choke out, "I hope you guys have a safe trip," as I tried to push the enormous, embarrassing lump in my throat down. I made sure not to start crying till I was in my car driving away from the airport.

And that was the last I'd ever heard of the brothers. I left Edward feeling sorry for himself and Alphonse confused and dumbfounded at my sudden change of emotion. Ed probably explained to him later.

I wasn't the one who cut them off though. They never sent contact information from their dorms, and the few times I'd tried Al's cell phone at the beginning of the year where simply ignored. I'd started the separation, but they made sure to end it.

-X-

Envy had still been at work at the music store when I made it to him. As much as I tried to mask my anger and sadness, it didn't take long for him to pick up on it.

"So, you're just going to sit there and not say anything?" He said when the store had cleared out and we were the only ones inside.

It was true. I came inside the narrow store and wormed my way to the back and pulled up a chair to sit beside Envy. I had crossed my arms and didn't say anything. Probably figuring I didn't want to talk about my problems in front of total strangers, he'd kept quiet till everyone inside had cleared out.

"The Elric brothers are coming back into town and plan to stay with Granny."

It didn't surprise me it took Envy a second to figure out who I was talking about. I didn't talk about the Elrics a whole bunch, but I had told Envy the story once, and only once had I ever spoken of it. "Fuckers," he said when he finally figured it out. "Did they call you?"

"No, Al called Granny."

Envy furrowed his eyebrows and his mouth twisted. "Is Al the one that you—"

"No, he's just the one that never called me back after I had called him a good sixty times. They didn't call for three years."

Envy raised his eyebrows. "If I were you I'd be surprised they're alive."

"Granny already went through that phase. I even called Al to tell him."

"No response?"

I shrugged. "Obviously Granny doesn't concern him."

A sardonic grin flashed on Envy's face. "Nice kid."

"I thought he was at one point. Guess looks are deceiving." My last sentence was choked and let out in one gasp.

Envy was suddenly staring at me with the most pitiful look I'd ever seen appear on his face. It took me a moment to figure out why. I was crying, and I hadn't even realized it. My body had been burning from anger so strongly that I hadn't even realized that my eyes had been too. Usually I was pretty good at controlling my tears, considering I hate crying in general. People or no people it was a miserable human action.

As I tried to hold it in, I only ended up crying harder. I felt so embarrassed, bawling like a baby in front of Envy. Although a little awkward with affection—something I learned to love, since I knew when he did express it, it was genuine—Envy managed to pull me into a one-armed hug, with his head resting on top of mine, his nose buried in my hair. Envy knew I loved it when he held me like this, for when I was worked up, feeling someone I love's heart beating and them breathing has a soothing effect on me. Maybe it was just the fact that someone, alive, was with me at the moment, there for me, was nerve calming.

We stayed like that for a long time, him holding me and my crying slowly subsiding. Eventually the bell at the front door rang, letting us know there was a customer entering. Envy, slowly to see if I wanted him too, let go of me. I stood up, pulling my somewhat wrinkled shirt down to straighten it. "I'm going to go," I pointed to the restrooms. Envy nodded in understanding.

-X-

I had known Envy for a little more than a year now. Our anniversary had been a month ago, and none of us knowing the actual date, we guessed and booked a dinner date when it was convenient for the two of us. It would've been hard to determine what was the date for the anniversary anyways, for we had been hanging out and going on what could be called dates for a long time and Envy even told me he liked me way before he decided to lean over and kiss me. So what counted? The first date, the confession, or the kiss? We decided on the day we met, sometime in June. It fit us better as a couple, since that was the official beginning.

As I dabbed my eyes with a wet paper towel, getting rid of tear tracks or any other reminisce of crying, while trying to cool my still very hot and red eyes down. It probably doesn't do very much for red eyes, but I knew it felt good on boiling skin, the same as it would on a summer day such as this one.

Envy knew me and my story better than anyone else, except my grandmother. I don't know why he chose to put up with me, but he did. People would say the same thing to me about him as an old gang member, druggie, and goth, Envy was a living wreck himself, more so than me. He came from a broken family. His father had seven children, all from different mothers except for the twins. He kept all the children he could, but Envy suspected he had more siblings out there. The man was very protective of his children, seeing as they were the only people he had left in his life. At the age of fifteen, his dad was caught as a meth cooker and was taken away. His eldest brother, Selim, was old enough to take is siblings into custody, but not wanting to ruin his school career, didn't bother with them. Solaris, the oldest twin and his only sister sacrificed her chance of going to college for taking care of her siblings. Nash, at the same age as Solaris, move away, but not too far. He visits often and chips in money whenever Solaris needs it.

Around that time Envy became involved in gangs and illegal substances out of anger and frustration. Envy is plenty smart and if he had the chance would be following me into college if his ADHD hadn't caused his grades to sink in school, seeing as his family no longer had the money to pay for medication to help him.

Specifics as to why Envy quit the gang and decided to complete high school, with semi-decent grades wasn't something Envy enjoyed talking about. When he did tell me, his answer was simple: he didn't want to end up as his father did. He wanted to be better than that.

Envy finished high school and works full-time at the music store. He rents his own apartment but helps his sister out with raising the three youngest siblings, one of whom was tested positive for autism. He plans to get a higher education once his sister is able to.

Granny doesn't quite like Envy, believing he isn't going to have anything to offer to me in the future. She seems to strongly believe that Envy will end up just as his father did, his smoking habit already something often chosen to be brought up. But the more time I spent with him, the more impossible it seems to me to feel so at home with anyone else.

I finished wiping my eyes and threw the wet paper towel into the garbage. As I came up to the register, the woman who had come in, forcing me to go to the restroom, was already checking out.

She had short brown hair and large glass bottom glasses with thick black frames. She seemed intimidated by the store with its posters of heavy metal bands and dark demeanor. But it was Envy I could tell she was she was nervous around the most. I had never seen her before and by the way she was acting, she was either picking something up for a friend or buying a gift. I looked at the cassette she picked out. Yup, definitely cannot be for her. She paid with credit card and scrawled, what I guess is her surname, at the bottom of the receipt in small sloppy handwriting. Sheska. Had to be a surname. Who would name their child that?

"Thank you," she mumbled as Envy handed her a paper bag with her purchase.

Envy didn't say anything in return, so I said, "Have a nice day," just before she got out the door. Once the bell quieted down I pinched Envy.

He nearly jumped out of his seat in surprised, and I'm guessing pain. Wimp. "What the hell was that for?" he yelled rubbing his arm.

"Would it kill you to be a little friendlier to customers?"

"She isn't going to come here again. Did you look at what she bought? She definitely for someone else. She found it too fast too." Envy slouched in his chair, pouting.

I shook my head. "You still don't have to make her feel like you're going to jump up and slit her throat. God, she was shaking."

Envy smiled. Envy didn't smile like a normal person, he always had an amused sarcastic looking smile that tended to daunt those who didn't know them. His right eyebrow lifted to complete his look. "You think I scare people?"

"I know."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into his lap. "I don't scare you though," he left a wet kiss on my cheek, "you must be nuts."

"I can't imagine what my co-workers would think," I smiled and gave him a small kiss on the nose. He had a button nose, small, elfish, and so remarkably fitting to his personality.

"You're young. They probably wouldn't be surprised." He kissed my jaw.

"They don't think very well of me for my age," I said wistfully.

He smiled then finally went for my lips. His arms moved from my waist up to my back as I slowly melted into him. My arms found their way around his neck and my hands buried themselves in his long wispy hair.

This was ritual for us. Unless we were around other people, which we seldom were together, at some point in our stay together making out would be involved. Envy would slowly work away the stress of the day off of me as I suck into him, letting him become the only thing I could focus on. I looked forward to seeing him at the end of a work or school day and pouted if I didn't.

Envy was the one who broke the kiss. "Do you know when they are coming?" And he broke the majesty of the moment too.

My face was close enough to his that when I shook my head, my nose rubbed against his. "Granny said that they asked and she's going to decide whether she wants them to stay at the house. But from the way she was talking to me earlier, she wants them to come."

"If they do come will you go to the airport to meet them?" he asked.

I made a face. "You know the answer to that."

He shrugged, but instead of pulling me in for a kiss, he hugged me. I hugged him back, holding his shoulders as if that were my lifeline. "Well, when you do go to meet them, I'll be there for you. Just tell me before hand."

I hadn't expected him to say that. I pulled back and tried to come up with some kind of excuse as to why he shouldn't go, but I couldn't find any. He smiled-a bit of sarcasm still held in there, but it was otherwise genuine—as he brushed my bangs out of my face. "Thank you," I said before hugging him again. Envy didn't know the Elrics, but I knew as long as he came to meet him, somehow I would be safe, and never far from home.

**A/N:** Well this was refreshing to write. I enjoyed being able to write something with Envy and Winry in a different situation, completely different. I liked using more of a contemporary setting, seeing as I could use all my slang language in the text knowing that I was doing so in the right time period. And if you're confused, don't worry, I'm cooking up the story as to how Envy and Winry met, and it'll be done soon.

If you didn't catch on by the college names, this takes place in the U.S. It's kinda like a high school AU, but not quite, since the characters are much older and can control their lives.


	17. Theme6:The Space Between Dream&Reality

Warning: Shamballa World Envy/Winry

**Theme 6: The Space between Dream and Reality**

"We need to talk."

Whitney was a few paces ahead of William. He had stopped, and she hadn't realized it. She spun around to face him; his tone was serious, deep and drawn out. She wondered if she had said something earlier that she shouldn't have. A breeze came by and tossed her hair. She held the strands out of her face as she asked, "About what?"

He didn't answer her question, he simply jerked his head to the left, signaling for her to follow him as he led her somewhere in that direction. She obliged without questioning, the only noise between them was the shaking of the tree branches that made the park path more of a green tunnel. William led her to the lake that stood as a centerpiece to the forest of trees. Normally, it was busy here as children played in the water and mothers watched while chatting with friends, but the cold air of January kept most from setting foot outside if they didn't have to and left the lake frozen over. The large empty area was completely secluded.

From where they were standing, Whitney could see the bench where they had first met. She hoped that by keeping it in sight, an omen would pass over the two, making sure that nothing drastic would happen between them. Whitney wouldn't be sure though, as she looked at the thin straight line William's mouth had been pulled in. He was staring across the lake, possibly at their bench.

"You like children right?" The question was unexpected and left Whitney blinking as she tried to figure out what had brought that on. Earlier they had visited the house of a friend of hers and she had played with their daughter, Elysia. As far as she would remember, Whitney hadn't been acting out of the ordinary then. (Well, whenever at Maes' house William always acted a little… dormant, if that could be considered the correct word) And when Elysia had asked for him to play with her, he did so, looking entertained even! So what had brought such a strange question about?

Whitney gave William an honest answer. "Very much so."

He nodded, still not facing her though. She watched as his blonde hair danced to the wind in front of his face and his eyebrows burrowed closer in-between his forehead. "And you'd want to have kids of your own, right?"

She sucked in a breath. Swallowed. Stared. Millions of different possibilities as to why William would be making his conversation with her rushed to her head at once. Many good, some bad, yet she still couldn't quite place why he was asking her such a question. Why now? They were in a relationship, not married.

A strong icy wind came by just then, stronger than those that had been playing with her hair. It rumpled her coat and scarf away from her body, allowing the chilling air from outside to meet her neck and collarbone. When it passed, she shuffled her scarf back into its place. Instead of twiddling her fingers, Whitney wrapped and unwrapped the short frills of decoration at the hem of her scarf around her fingers as she thought. She chose her words carefully. "Yes. One day, I would like to have children.

Then was when William chose to face her. He seemed unnerved and troubled by her answer, although by the way his fists relaxed, she could tell he had been expecting that answer. "I'm not bringing this up because I want you to fool around with me. But because," he looked back at the bench once again, before taking a step closer, and grasping her hands, "Because if you stay with me, I won't be able to give you children. I'm infertile."

Her mind and body felt helpless all of the sudden. She felt disappointment crawl up into her stomach and settle there, making itself as hard as a rock. Her muscles went rigid and stiff as she took in the news.

"How… How do you know this?"

He had anticipated the question, but he didn't seem nervous or hasty enough to be lying. "I had a disease as a child. The doctors said the effect would be an inevitability."

When Whitney said nothing, William continued talking. "I wanted to tell you this so that you wouldn't get your hopes up and marry me and think that you could start a family, only to be disappointed afterwards." Whitney's expression suddenly melted into a pitiful one of sorrow for him. William must have become uncomfortable under gaze, because he looked down at his shoes, before shifting to the lake. "So, I'm letting you know this now, so you have the decision to break ties with me before moving on deeper into our relationship." He dropped her hands and took a step back.

Whitney thought that what William had just said was easily the most vulnerable and heart-felt thing she'd heard come out of his mouth since she met him. She swallowed, trying to push back the lump that had formed in her throat. She felt herself blush as she repeated his words again in her head.

She stared at him. Tracing the curve that connected his neck to his shoulders. She watched his golden blonde hair flutter in the breeze. All the while, as she looked at his physical being, repeating to herself over and over why she believed she loved him.

Whitney traced her way down his arms to his hands, which were balled up into fists. If she had kept going downwards she would've seen his legs trembling.

"Do you want to have children?" He turned to face her when she spoke. She bit her lips as she saw the desperate expression on his face.

"I want to give you everything. And I would love to have a child with you…" He looked her straight in the eyes as he spoke, willing her to understand that every word he spoke was dripping with the truth. "I just wish I could give you one of your own."

She gaze was intense, and she could feel herself soften beneath it. She, this time, chose to look at the park bench for guidance. All she could see was a warm spring day in which two strangers sat down at the same bench. A woman was blushing under the presence of a very handsome man, and the man, despite not knowing her, felt the need to kiss the woman. And it had all started with four worn-out legs and a woman whom wanted to make friendly conversation.

"Then we'll make it work. We can adopt a child or…" As she stared into liquid gold eyes she fell at loss of thought. "We'll think of something!" she said not seeing very many other options. The bench came to mind. "I just don't want to lose you. Infertility isn't going to make me leave you. I love you too much to want to turn around."

She took a hesitant step forward, and raised her hands to cup his cheeks. "Do you want that?"

His breath was delicate and warmed her wrists. William closed his eyes. "Yes." It was barely a whisper.

She took another step forward and wrapped her arms around his torso. Whitney rested her head against his chest and could faintly hear a heartbeat through all the layers of clothing he had on. "We'll make it work then, I promise." She tightened her hold on her, pressing him closer.

He was awkward in returning her hug. She could feel him shaking, in relief she could imagine. He kissed the crown of her head before burying his nose there. "I'll hold you to that." His words were tentative and quiet, yet they held so much weight and hope in them, that the two of them could already taste a future with one another.

A/N: Yep. I had the first rough draft for this written out nine months ago. Nine. This is long over-due, and for a long while I wondered if I was doing to replace this and do something else for this theme. This fic actually didn't hold this reality, but seeing as it didn't make sense and would've taken a whole lot of explaining, I just made William a native to Germany, not a homunculus from Amestris that somehow survived.

I don't exactly have a time setting for this, but pre-Shamballa would make sense, since Envy's arrival would probably kill William…


	18. Theme 3: Jolt

**Theme 3: Jolt**

"You have to eat sometimes, so that when your little rescue squad gets here you're alive." Envy had his hand on his hip and an unsavory smile on his face. He was glad that the insect felt unhappy enough to starve herself. She could try all she wanted, but the homunculi controlled her now; she was simply filling a sieve with sand.

"What do you care as long as they show up?"Winry practically spat at him. Her teeth were bared.

"Good point. I don't, becaue after they have finished their purpose, you die." Envy gave her his most wonderful smile.

Winry only became more angry. If looks could kill... Well, Envy would've had to regenerate again after times.

Envy went to the small table found in Winry's room/cell. (It really depended from whose point of view you were looking at. The homunculi considered themselves generous; Winry had other opinions.) He picked up the plate of food she probably hadn't even looked from yesterday and put the new steaming plate down; they had been doing this for four days straight now. He might've made a comment about her wasting their money not eating, but since it was Dante's funding, he felt a stronger urge to endorce her behavior rather than reprimand. And anyways, he heard that it was a horrible thing, starving to death.

Envy felt the cell with a slam of the door.

-X-

"Still on that extreme diet, I see?" Envy switched the old plate for the new. He was smiling. He could skip right now. He hadn't had someone to harass in forever.

"Just shut up." Her rebuke was halfhearted. She didn't try to be angry with him; she was miserable now.

Envy grinned. Oh, he was in for a fight. "A little touchy today? Are the hunger pains affecting your mood? Or are you just missing your dear little boyfriend?"

He waited for a response, but Winry simply ignored him.

-X-  
>The food was finally cleared. You wouldn't have even been able to tell that there had been food on the plate, the way it sparkled, Envy thought. He smiled at the thought of her licking the plate clean in desperation. "Finally gave in didn't you?"<p>

Envy turned to face her, but she was balled up on her canopy bed, her focus on the red wallpaper in front of her.

Envy put his had on his hip and sighed as if he had been patiently dealing with her for too long. "I know you can hear me, so answer."  
>Winry remained still.<p>

For some reason, her total ignorance to the position she was in, the submission she should've been experiencing.

Envy stomped over to her and wrentched her from her side to laying on her back, pressing her shoulders down hard into the mattress. He dug his fingernails into her skin. Her eyes were bright and wide with fear yet she kept her eyebrows furrowed.

"I don't think you quite understand your position. You are in a bed room in a castle below the ground, where the secret entrance to that place is unknown to any mortal. No one can help you. The only person showing you the least bit of courtesy is me, so when I ask a question you respond. Got it, bitch?"

Winry simply stared up at him.

Envy didn't understand, and he didn't like being made a fool of. She could die if he wished it.

"Answer me!"

Her face scrunched up. Her eyes and mouth tightened and her eyebrows only folded themselves deeper into her face.

"I hate you." Her words were drawn out so that each one hit him with the intensity she chose. "Edward and Alphonse will come to get me and they will defeat you scum. They will save me. You will never win, they will always be there for me."

Her face softened at that moment, as if having released all her fury had caused her to cease being angry with him. But, it seemed he didn't know her well enough. Her face was softening for the blow. "They are human, and they are better than a thousand homunculi like you."

Envy's eyes burned and his throat burned and for a second, instead of Winry, Envy saw the woman William had loved. He had died without ever having impressed her to look past his parents and heritage. Although Envy didn't love Winry, he felt the same rejection of his self for something he couldn't help. Who he was.

And that was the moment that Envy chose to kiss her.

Anger and pent up confusion came gushing out into a crushing kiss. Winry lay paralyzed in shock, her body completely stiff.

Truly, Envy hadn't expected himself to do that either.

He moved his lips against her, biting them in anger as he thought of how much she loved and believed in the Elric brothers. No one felt that way towards him. So maybe he could taste. She had just uttered her belief, maybe he could taste the residue on her lips? Suck it straight from her mouth?

The monster wanted love and wasn't sure as to how to receive it.

Suddenly, as if having been jolted awake, she began screaming and pushing to remove herself from him. Envy let go of her as if she had caught fire.

He removed himself from her, looking down at her gasping and terrified face one last time before he slammed the door on his way out.


	19. Theme 18: say ahh

**Theme 18: "say ahh..."***  
>AN: I don't know the exact explanation, but this prompt, because of as-trick, is supposed to be about a guy saying "don't I look hot". Something like that. And I wanted to write some pre-dating Envy/Winry.

"Are you going to be done soon?" Envy strutted in-very literally strutted-into Winry's workshop as she was finishing up working with one of her clients. The girl whose hand she was fixing, brown hair and eyes with freckles covering her face, couldn't have been any older than thirteen. She gawked at Envy's attire.

Winry had been used to the way that he had dressed by now, she had considered what he wore to be a bit weird, but she hadn't given any thought as to what others who didn't know Envy would think. And now that she thought about it, Winry didn't think that she had ever been with Envy around other people. She hadn't seen their reactions to him before.

The girl blushed at the sight of all of the skin Envy was displaying and Winry blushed herself from the embarrassment her rude friend was imparting on her. Envy sat down on one of the work benches right across from the two girls, in full view for them, probably on purpose. Winry cursed under her breath and hurried to finish up adjusting the girl's automail hand.

"Why do you have to dress like that?" Winry asked once the girl had left and the door was closed behind her.

"It's not like you have much to say for yourself, sunshine." His smile reminded her of that of a fox, sly and egoistic.

"Ugh." Winry rolled her eyes cast her head up the heavens as if to ask, 'Why did you send him to me!' and lifted her hands and shook them in frustration. Envy laughed at her.

Winry proceeded to clean off the tools she had left on the workbench from fixing the girl's guncked up gears.

"Anyways," Envy still had that obnoxiously confident smile on his face, "If you had a gorgeous body like my wouldn't you flaunt it."

"No. I wear the clothing I do for the heat of working in a pool of my own sweat all day and to make sure nothing gets caught in what I'm working on." Winry snatched up a tool rather forcefully.

"I think that was the sexiest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth: 'working in a pool of my own sweat'." Envy laughed, whether it was at himself or her she wasn't sure.

Winry shook her head and dumped her tools into her bin. But she kept her wrentch; she needed to show someone not to laugh at her. "You're impossible!"

He smiled and she knocked him upside the head.


End file.
